A couple of years ago, I had a complete meltdown.
Not a bad day.
Not a rough week.
A total unraveling.
I was under an enormous amount of pressure…something many of you in power positions can relate to. Normally, stress is just part of life, but this time, it was different.
It was a one-two punch.
Both blows tied to betrayal—the kind that punches you in the gut and keeps twisting.
This wasn’t just business. It was personal.
And when deep emotions get involved, it's hard to be pragmatic.
I came unglued.
Didn’t sleep for almost four days.
Wasn’t sure if I was having a heart attack that wouldn’t stop or what.
At one point, I was pretty sure I was dying.
For the first time in my life, I had some really, really dark thoughts.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to end my own life… or end someone else’s.
And that scared the hell out of me.
The Moment Everything Changed
I sat at my computer and typed one word into Google:
“Therapist.”
The first office that answered the phone and could see me immediately? That’s where I went.
I walked into that office, sat down with a complete stranger, and within minutes, I was bawling my eyes out.
I mean full breakdown.
Picture a 6’7, 300+ pound man in an absolute emotional freefall.
I don’t know what that therapist thought when I walked in, but I do know this…it was the first time in my life I let go.
What I Learned
After a few sessions, I started unpacking things I had buried for decades.
Because that’s what I always did… bandaid it and bury it.
-
My childhood…moving nine times as a kid, always being the new guy.
-
My mother’s suicide…so painful I couldn’t even say her name without choking up, so I just didn’t talk about it.
-
The financial crash…going bankrupt, losing everything.
-
The crumbling marriage…failing at something I never thought I’d fail at.
-
Breaking free from alcohol….realizing I was numbing things instead of dealing with them.
I started seeing the pattern.
Those experiences never left me. I just stacked them, one on top of the other, pretending they didn’t exist.
But when that tank finally overfilled…the dam didn’t crack. It exploded.
And I wasn’t ready for it.
The Hardest Work I Ever Did
Once I got back on my feet, I did something I’d never done before…I took a deep dive into myself.
I studied myself the way I’d study a market opportunity.
-
I took every personality test I could find—MBTI, Enneagram, Big Five.
-
I read everything I could on human behavior, psychology, and resilience.
-
I went through Jordan Peterson’s Self-Authoring Program…a brutal exercise where you document your past, your pain, your traumas, and then rewrite your own narrative.
It was one of the most painful and valuable things I’ve ever done.
I sat down and wrote out everything I had buried…every event, every loss, every regret. And then, with the help of my Mind Guide (therapist? Performance coach? The title doesn’t matter)...we examined every event, pulled the emotions out of it, repackaged it, and put it away properly.
Because here’s the thing: you can’t control that those things happened to you… but you can control how you put them on the shelf.
That’s the difference between getting past something and carrying it forever.
The Tiger Woods Principle
I started seeing therapy the way Tiger Woods saw Butch Harmon.
I found one that was perfect for me and trusted him..with everything
Tiger was the most naturally talented golfer in the world… but even he had blind spots.
Butch Harmon’s job wasn’t to swing the club for him…it was to help Tiger see what he couldn’t see on his own.
And that’s what therapy was for me.
I still had to do the work.
I still had to show up every day and make the changes.
I still had to unlearn the patterns that were breaking me.
A therapist, a coach, a guide…they can only show you the problem.
You still have to fix your own swing.
This Newsletter is sponsored by Can-Am Dealer Services
The Missing Piece
The biggest thing I realized?
I had zero secure attachments outside my family.
I knew a ton of people…but nobody really knew me.
I was always the guy people came to for advice, for business, for help.
I was always the rock.
But I never let anyone see my own cracks.
And that’s where most guys in this industry are right now.
We know everyone, but we don’t feel truly connected to anyone.
We have networks…but not brotherhoods.
We have employees, colleagues, and clients…but very few safe spaces to just be human.
Why I Started VIN Syndicate
I created VIN Syndicate as a tribute to my former self.
Because I know that if I had a group of guys who truly understood me—who had my back, who had walked similar paths—I might have never crashed the way I did.
It’s not just about business. It’s about belonging.
It’s not just about making deals. It’s about having people who would go to war for you.
It’s not just about networking. It’s about brotherhood.
Every single dealership owner, GM, and decision-maker I talk to is in the same damn boat.
-
They know everyone, but they don’t have anyone.
-
They’re constantly needed, but never seen.
-
They carry a world of weight, but never lay it down.
And that’s a dangerous game to play.
So, here’s my message to you…
If this hits home…find your people.
If you don’t have a safe circle, build one.
If you don’t have someone to call when shit hits the fan, become that person for someone else.
And if you’re in this industry and you’re reading this, VIN Syndicate is here for you.
Not just for the business wins.
But for the real wins.
The life wins.
Because the next time that dam starts to crack…
I want to make damn sure you’re not standing there alone.
Final Thoughts
I don’t know what kind of reaction this will get.
But I do know this…some of you needed to hear it.
And if that’s you?
You know where to find me.
If you’re in the automotive industry and this resonates..you found the spot.
About Bob Manor
Bob Manor is the founder of South Ontario Auto Remarketing, Can-Am Dealer Services, and is Co-Founder of Auto Auction Review. Bob is also the creator of the Freedom Formula. With over 30 years of experience in the car dealership world, Bob specializes in wholesale, dealer services, and personal branding. His mission is to help dealership professionals take control of their careers, build resilient personal brands, and achieve lasting freedom in business and life.
Responses